“Many sex positions are known to cause quick ejaculation – the missionary position is one such ‘culprit’” – Lloyd Lester, Ejaculation by Command.
The missionary position is a conventional position that most men adopt when having sex.
Though, very intimate and romantic, it is known to cause men to ejaculate sooner than they would like to.
In this article, I share with you how to last longer in bed in the missionary position.
Why most men don’t last long in the missionary position
When you’re having sex in the missionary position, you’ll notice that you depend on your hands and legs (generally, your body) for support.
This posture puts too much tension in your body and pelvic muscles… hence, it makes it a lot harder to maintain control and prolong intercourse.
After thrusting for a few minutes, the amount of tension in your body muscles causes you to ejaculate sooner than you would like to.
Relaxation is key to lasting longer in bed
One of the keys to lasting longer during sex is to keep your ejaculatory muscle (or PC muscle) completely relaxed during sex.
The ejaculatory muscle is the muscle that rhythmically contracts during ejaculation or orgasm. It’s the same muscle that controls urination.
Keeping this muscle relaxed during sex will help you last a lot longer. [Read: ‘How to Relax Your Ejaculatory Muscle to Revel in Long-Lasting Sex’]
Now, when you depend on your hands for support during sex, it becomes difficult to keep your ejaculatory muscle relaxed for a longer duration.
This is because most of your body muscles are tensed, making it difficult to relax the ejaculatory muscle.
That being said, let’s look at how you can last longer in the missionary position.
How to last longer in the missionary position
Now here, what you want to do is to get rid of the tension in your body.
So here is how you go about it:
When you’re having sex in the missionary position, make sure your weight is not on your hands.
Instead of having your hands on the bed and have all those tensions in your body, you can put your arms on the bed or underneath your partner’s body and your palms up like at the back of her shoulders.
Doing this will take the tension off your hands, off your shoulders and make your body feel a lot more relaxed and free.
In this posture, you’re placing your chest pleasingly along your lover’s body, giving an intense feeling of closeness. On the plus side, your faces are close enough together to enable passionate kissing (a trick to distract yourself from ejaculating prematurely).
Now, when you feel like you’re about to ejaculate sooner than you would want to, slow down your thrusting movements or vary between shallow and deep thrusts. Or you can just stop penetration and go down on your woman until your arousal subsides… then resume penetration again.
Focus on your breathing here…
…feel yourself breathing more slowly and deeply into your stomach. [Read: ‘Your Breathing and Sexual Stamina: Breathing Your Way to a Long-Lasting Sex’]
Varying the missionary position
You can vary your posture by lifting yourself up and leaning back – like you’re forming an “L” shape with your woman.
You kneel on the bed so that you’re not supporting your weight with your arms.
This way, there’s no stress in your upper body.
So there you have it… how to last longer in bed in the missionary position.
Even though it can be difficult to keep your ejaculatory muscle relaxed in the missionary position, with the above tips, you should be able to prolong intercourse.
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