“If you’ve been telling yourself you’ve got a problem lasting longer, well… you’ve just convinced yourself that!” — Lloyd Lester.
Sex is a mutually pleasurable experience when the man is able to last longer and the woman can climax.
But it can lead to anger, confusion, and frustration when the woman lacks the sexual satisfaction just because the man can’t last longer in bed to give her at least one penetration or vaginal orgasm.
So why do most men ejaculate prematurely or blow their load before their woman even starts to enjoy the sexual encounter?
Read on to find out.
The Reasons Most Men Can’t Last Longer In Bed
#1. They fail to keep their ejaculatory muscle relaxed
The ejaculatory muscle is the muscle that controls ejaculation of semen (and urine).
This muscle plays a major role when it comes to sex.
It is the complete and conscious relaxation of the ejaculatory muscle that makes a man last as long as he wants during sex.
Now, not only does the relaxation of the ejaculatory muscle help a man last as long as he wants during sex, it also helps him fend off an impending ejaculation…
…fends off in the sense that when a man is on the verge of ejaculating but not yet ready to ejaculate or orgasm, clenching the ejaculatory muscle helps him prevent the ejaculation from happening.
But most men overlook this simple strategy and they end up blowing their load sooner than they would want to.
Even those who know of this technique have difficulties relaxing their ejaculatory muscle due to the sexual position or posture they adopt during sex. [Read how to relax your ejaculatory muscle to revel in long-lasting sex]
And speaking of sex position, this takes us to the next reason why most men can’t last longer in bed.
#2. They adopt challenging and demanding sexual postures
As mentioned above, a man can last longer during sex when he keeps his ejaculatory muscle relaxed throughout sex.
Unfortunately, most sexual postures make it difficult to relax the ejaculatory muscle…
…and among these is the missionary position.
This particular sex position puts too much tension on the body, making it difficult to keep the ejaculatory muscle relaxed for a longer period.
…looking at the missionary position, for instance, the man has to support his weight on his hands and legs.
Now, unless the man has a strong or a well-toned ejaculatory muscle, it will be difficult for him to keep his ejaculatory muscle relaxed in this challenging sexual position.
So if a man wants to make intercourse last longer, letting the woman get on top is always a good idea.
Woman-on-top positions are the easiest position to keep all body muscles completely relaxed, as the man doesn’t need to depend on his arms and legs for support. [Read the 2 best sex positions that will help you last longer during sex]
The next reason why most men can’t last longer during sex is that…
…they get overly excited about sex (#3)
Either he is too excited about having sex or being inside a woman.
Yes, it feels good to be inside a woman… but once you get overly excited (without taking steps to control it), it is game over before it even gets started.
“When you get too excited about sex, your mind will inevitably and subconsciously contribute to the release of dopamine and testosterone hormones into your bloodstream – a surefire way to climax in a hurry,” says sex expert Lloyd Lester.
As we have sex we begin to peak in our excitement (both men and women).
It allows us to enjoy having sexual intercourse.
When a woman gets too excited, she achieves an orgasm faster (which is a good thing).
But when a man is too excited (without control), he blows his load quickly (which could be a bad thing).
To overcome this, the man has to control his breathing…
…he should breathe slowly and deeply into his belly and out through his mouth.
When he feels that he is getting too excited too quickly, he should slow down or stop thrusting and pull out of his woman if he has to… and then he should resume intercourse after his excitement has subsided. [Read how to control your sexual arousal]
To the next reason why most men can’t last longer in bed…
#4. There’s excessive friction on their penis head
In fact, friction is excellent for men who need to maintain an erection during sex.
But whiles more friction means better sex for everyone, it can also cause men to blow their load quickly.
When the woman is not well lubricated, or she squeezes her pelvic-floor muscles while having sex, this creates excessive friction on the penis.
Plus, any position where the woman keeps her thighs pressed together rather than spread keeps her tight and creates friction on the penis.
You see, the frenulum of the penis (the small fold of skin located on the underside of the head of the penis), is very sensitive…
…and excessive friction and stimulation on this part of the penis will increase excitement and consequently, lead to quick ejaculation.
The next reason most men can’t last long in bed is as a result of…
…performance anxiety (#5)
In other words, worrying about not lasting longer in bed.
Lloyd Lester, author of Ejaculation by Command writes, “Anxiety is a man’s biggest enemy in the bedroom. If you’ve been telling yourself you’ve got a problem lasting longer, well…you’ve just convinced yourself that!”
When a man is worrying about his sexual performance and is constantly thinking about blowing his load early (like within 1 minute), that is exactly what’s going to happen.
This is especially true when he suffers from premature ejaculation (or he thinks he suffers from premature ejaculation).
Interestingly, our mind (the brain) controls most of what happens when we have sex.
And just like thinking about erotic thoughts gets you aroused, thinking about making an early exit is exactly what will happen.
If you are a man reading this, and you suffer from premature ejaculation, or you think you suffer from premature ejaculation…
…here’re some tips for you:
When she experiences a clitoral orgasm, give her a minute to catch her breath then finger her to a vaginal orgasm. [Read how to finger your woman]
Now you’ve given her an orgasm with your tongue and finger(s). This should greatly reduce the pressure and anxiety on you to perform during intercourse.
When you start having sex, go as slow as you can.
Focus on your woman and try NOT to think about the feelings in your penis.
Pay attention to your breathing… concentrate on breathing slowly and deeply throughout sex.
Try keeping your ejaculatory muscle relaxed.
When you feel you are about to ejaculate or orgasm sooner than you’d want, pull out and go down on her again.
Wait until your arousal subsides, then resume intercourse.
Follow this simple strategy and you’re guaranteed to last a lot longer. [Read the 4 simple but powerful ways to overcome sexual performance anxiety]
So there you have it… 5 reasons why most men can’t last longer during sex.
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